69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
