alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
