why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
