I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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