i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She told me I should be a condom model.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
So vagazzling was a success
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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