Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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