Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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