"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Couch. On fire.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
