weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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