the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
