Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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