Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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