Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
