If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
