I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
