I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
dude. I can hear the air.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
