Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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