Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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