her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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