Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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