did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
