That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
