We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
