I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
