Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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