I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
