keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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