hell yes lets make some ravioli
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
