I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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