I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
