He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
