my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she told me i tasted like america
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
