I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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