she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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