Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
