Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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