Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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