Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
