Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
