I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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