Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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