It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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