Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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