Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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