You really coming over, don't trick.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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