I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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