Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Walk of Shame today included voting.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
