you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
