weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
