please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
