I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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