i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
