you guys were way drunker than both of me
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It's never too late to be topless.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
