Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
