i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
